Buckeye Pie — The Thread That Connects Every Version of Me

Week 343. Fall 2022. I am 39 years old and standing in my kitchen — the Bench house kitchen, the one that held cancer and divorce and cinnamon rolls — and the stove is on and something is cooking and the house smells like cinnamon and falling leaves and this is my life. This is the life I built.

The garden is winding down, the last harvest, and I stood in it this week and thought about dirt and time and the way both of them turn nothing into something if you're patient enough.

Mason is 11 and reading everything he can find and examining the world under a microscope with the intensity of a tenured researcher.

Lily is 9 and riding horses with the fearlessness of someone who has never considered the possibility of falling.

I made apple pie this week. The food continues. The food always continues. It is the thread that connects every week to every other week, every year to every other year, every version of me to every other version — the woman on the kitchen floor, the woman at the chemo recliner, the woman at the grill, the woman at the outdoor table under the string lights. All of them, connected by the food they made with their hands. All of them, me.

The apple pie was already done — already cooling on the counter, already doing what apple pie does, which is make a house smell like something worth coming home to. But there was still sweetness left in me that week, still something that wanted to be made with my hands, and so I made this too: Buckeye Pie, the kind of dessert that asks nothing complicated of you and gives back everything. It felt right for a week that was about gratitude and ordinariness and the quiet miracle of still being here, still cooking, still feeding the people I love.

Buckeye Pie

Prep Time: 20 minutes | Cook Time: 0 minutes | Total Time: 2 hours 20 minutes (includes chilling) | Servings: 10

Ingredients

• 1 (9-inch) pre-made chocolate cookie crust
• 8 oz cream cheese, softened
• 1 1/2 cups creamy peanut butter
• 2 cups powdered sugar, sifted
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 8 oz whipped topping (such as Cool Whip), thawed, divided
• 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
• 1/2 cup heavy cream
• 1/4 cup chopped roasted peanuts, for garnish (optional)

Instructions

1. Make the peanut butter filling. Beat the softened cream cheese and peanut butter together in a large bowl with a hand mixer until smooth and well combined, about 2 minutes.
2. Add sugar and vanilla. Add the sifted powdered sugar and vanilla extract and beat on low until incorporated, then increase to medium speed and mix until fluffy, about 2 minutes more.
3. Fold in whipped topping. Gently fold in 6 oz (about 3/4 of the container) of the whipped topping until the filling is light and smooth. Reserve the remaining whipped topping for garnish.
4. Fill the crust. Spoon the peanut butter filling into the chocolate cookie crust and spread evenly with a spatula. Place in the refrigerator while you prepare the ganache.
5. Make the chocolate ganache. Heat the heavy cream in a small saucepan over medium heat until just simmering. Remove from heat, add the chocolate chips, and let sit 2 minutes. Whisk until smooth and glossy.
6. Top the pie. Pour the ganache over the peanut butter filling and spread gently to the edges. Return the pie to the refrigerator and chill for at least 2 hours, until set.
7. Finish and serve. Before serving, dollop or pipe the reserved whipped topping around the edge of the pie and sprinkle with chopped peanuts if desired. Slice and serve cold.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 580 | Protein: 11g | Fat: 38g | Carbs: 52g | Fiber: 3g | Sodium: 310mg