Broccoli with Sautéed Red Pepper

A conversation about another child. James and I have been circling this for months — ever since the braised tendon Tuesday, ever since he mentioned it casually and I did not respond and the not-responding was its own response. We talked about it properly on Sunday night, after Hana was in bed, sitting at the kitchen island with tea.

He said, "I want to ask you something." I said, "I know what you're going to ask." He said, "Do you want another baby?" I said, "I think so. Maybe. I don't know." He said, "That is three different answers." I said, "I am three different people about this question." He laughed. He said, "What do the three people think?" I said, "The mother in me wants Hana to have a sibling. The founder in me says the timing is terrible. The daughter in me says Karen's Parkinson's is getting worse and I want her to meet all her grandchildren while she can." He was quiet. Then he said, "The third one. That's the one that matters, isn't it?" I said, "Yes." He said, "Then we should start thinking about it." I said, "I'm already thinking about it."

I told Dr. Yoon on Monday. She said, "Another child. How does that feel?" I said, "Like everything in my life: exciting and terrifying simultaneously." She said, "You have practice with that combination." She said, "What concerns you most?" I said, "That I'll stretch too thin. That Hana will feel displaced. That the company will suffer." She said, "Those are logistical concerns. What is the emotional concern?" I said, "That I'll have a biological child and the experience of looking at someone who looks like me will be so powerful that it will change the way I think about adoption." She said, "Why would that be a concern?" I said, "Because adoption made me who I am. And if biology feels different — if biology feels more — then what does that mean about Karen? About me? About everything I've built my identity around?" She said, "Stephanie. You can love biology and adoption at the same time. You have been doing this your whole life." She is right. I have been doing this my whole life. Holding contradictions. Holding both. Both is the whole story.

The recipe this week is a quiet dinner: rice, steamed fish, seasoned spinach, and doenjang jjigae. A simple Korean meal. Four dishes. Nothing elaborate. The kind of meal you eat when your brain is full and your heart is full and you need the food to be simple so you can think about the complicated things. Rice. Fish. Spinach. Stew. The four pillars of a Korean table. The four pillars of a quiet night when the question of another child is in the air and the air is warm and the kitchen holds everything, as always, as always.

The night James and I finally said the quiet thing out loud, I needed dinner to do absolutely nothing except exist and be easy — the vegetables were the only part of the meal I could hold without thinking. This broccoli with sautéed red pepper is what I made alongside the rice and the stew: bright, barely-there, just enough color and heat to remind you the world is still going. When your heart is already full, the food should be small.

Prep Time: 10 min | Cook Time: 12 min | Total Time: 22 min | Servings: 4

Ingredients

1 large head broccoli (about 1 1/2 lbs), cut into florets
1 large red bell pepper, thinly sliced
2 tablespoons olive oil, divided
3 cloves garlic, minced
1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt, plus more for blanching water
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice

Instructions

Blanch the broccoli. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Add the broccoli florets and cook for 2 to 3 minutes, until bright green and just tender. Drain immediately and transfer to a bowl of ice water to stop the cooking. Drain again and pat dry.
Sautée the pepper. Heat 1 tablespoon of olive oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add the sliced red bell pepper and cook, stirring occasionally, for 4 to 5 minutes until softened and lightly caramelized at the edges.
Add garlic and heat. Push the pepper to one side of the pan and add the remaining tablespoon of oil. Add the minced garlic and red pepper flakes to the cleared space and cook for 30 seconds, stirring constantly, until fragrant.
Combine and finish. Add the blanched broccoli to the skillet. Toss everything together and cook for 2 minutes until the broccoli is heated through and coated in the garlic oil. Season with salt and black pepper.
Serve. Remove from heat, drizzle with lemon juice, and toss once more. Serve immediately alongside rice, stew, or as part of a simple table spread.

Nutrition (per serving)

Broccoli with Sautéed Red Pepper — The Simplest Thing on a Night Full of Everything