BLaT Croque Madame -- The Egg That Got Me Through Friday

First week at the Dorchester Community Health Center. I started Monday. Dr. Rashid met me at the front desk at 8 AM. He gave me a tour. He introduced me to every person on staff — the receptionist Marta, the RNs (Sheila, Amira, two named Marie), the two other NPs (Tara, Dennis), the three physicians, the two MAs. I shook thirty hands in an hour. I received a stack of badges and paperwork and passwords. By noon I was seeing my first patients.

The first patient was a 68-year-old woman with uncontrolled hypertension and a cough she had been ignoring for a month. I took her history. I listened to her chest. I ordered a chest X-ray. I adjusted her blood pressure medications. I counseled her. I gave her a follow-up in two weeks. She thanked me. She said "new nurse practitioner?" I said "yes." She said "welcome to the neighborhood." She walked out. I sat at the computer and charted.

By Friday I had seen forty-two patients. Sore throats. Diabetes management. A handful of acute complaints. A long visit with a family whose grandmother was newly diagnosed with dementia. It was the quiet work of community medicine. It was not oncology. It was not the work of life and death in the explicit register I had been practicing for nine years. It was the work of life, in the steady register of a population that needed a clinician to keep the wheels on.

I am exhausted at the end of each day. The exhaustion is the tired of learning. It is not the hollowed-out tired of grief. It is a new tired. I welcome it.

Liam and Nora are in their schools. My mother has picked up Liam three afternoons a week — she drives down to Quincy at 2:30, picks him up at 3:15, and keeps him at my house until I get home at 5. She has claimed this as her role. I have accepted. Nora is at preschool until 5. I pick her up on my way home.

I cooked simple this week. Soup, pasta, eggs. I do not have energy for projects. That is fine. I am saving for the weekend.

I said I cooked eggs this week, and this is the one that felt like a reward on Thursday night — standing at the stove in scrubs, too tired to chop much but wanting something that tasted like I’d tried. The BLaT Croque Madame is exactly that: a sandwich that sounds impressive, comes together in under thirty minutes, and puts a fried egg on top so you feel like you did something right. After a week of learning forty names and charting forty-two patients, I needed the kind of meal that met me where I was.

BLaT Croque Madame

Prep Time: 10 min | Cook Time: 20 min | Total Time: 30 min | Servings: 2

Ingredients

• 4 slices thick-cut sourdough or sandwich bread
• 4 strips bacon
• 1 small avocado, sliced
• 4 slices ripe tomato
• 2 leaves romaine or butter lettuce
• 2 large eggs
• 1 cup shredded Gruyère or Swiss cheese, divided
• 1 tablespoon unsalted butter, plus more for the pan
• 1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
• 3/4 cup whole milk
• 1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
• Salt and black pepper to taste

Instructions

1. Cook the bacon. In a skillet over medium heat, cook bacon until crisp, about 6–8 minutes. Transfer to a paper-towel-lined plate and set aside. Reserve 1 teaspoon of drippings in the pan.
2. Make the béchamel. In a small saucepan over medium heat, melt 1 tablespoon butter. Whisk in flour and cook for 1 minute. Slowly pour in milk, whisking constantly, until the sauce thickens, about 3–4 minutes. Stir in Dijon, half the cheese, salt, and pepper. Remove from heat.
3. Assemble the sandwiches. Toast the bread lightly. Spread a thin layer of béchamel on one side of each slice. Layer bacon, avocado, tomato, and lettuce on two slices. Top with the remaining bread slices, béchamel side in.
4. Brown and melt. Heat a skillet or griddle over medium heat and add a small pat of butter. Cook sandwiches 2–3 minutes per side until golden. Spoon remaining béchamel over the tops and scatter remaining cheese. Broil on a baking sheet for 2 minutes until bubbly and lightly browned.
5. Fry the eggs. In the reserved bacon drippings over medium heat, fry eggs to your liking — sunny-side up keeps the yolk runny, which is the point. Season with salt and pepper.
6. Serve. Slide one fried egg on top of each sandwich and serve immediately.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 620 | Protein: 28g | Fat: 38g | Carbs: 42g | Fiber: 5g | Sodium: 890mg