The Best Barbecue Sauce

Kai turned four on May 11th. Last year's birthday was a small family thing — he was three and parties at three are really parties for the adults in attendance. This year he wanted a real party. He gave Hannah a list of requirements: there should be friends, there should be a cake with dinosaurs, there should be food that Kai specifically liked, which his list indicated as "soup and hot dogs." Hannah managed a party in the backyard with eight kids from his preschool class and the neighbors' kids, a dinosaur cake she made herself — three layers, green frosting, plastic dinosaurs on top — and a hot dog bar that I manned over the grill because that is what I do at any event involving an outdoor grill.

I also made bean bread, quietly, without telling anyone, because Kai's list said soup and I did not have time to make soup for twelve children, but bean bread travels in a direction adjacent to soup in the Cherokee food taxonomy and I wanted something real on the table alongside the hot dogs. Hannah noticed it and gave me a look that was not quite amused and not quite exasperated but was somewhere between the two in the territory of married. Kai ate three pieces of bean bread and two hot dogs and a full slice of dinosaur cake and then ran around the backyard until I was tired just watching him.

He blew out four candles. He wished for a dog, he told us afterward. We do not have a dog. Hannah said we would think about it. This means no. Kai does not know yet that "we will think about it" means no. He will learn. That particular lesson is part of the package of growing up.

Danny and Terry came for an hour. Danny sat in a lawn chair near the garden beds and watched Kai with the other kids and smiled every few minutes at something specific, the way grandparents watch grandchildren — with a particular quality of attention that is different from the attention of parents, which is mostly management. Danny's attention was just love, uncomplicated by responsibility. He ate one hot dog and a piece of bean bread and when he left he hugged Kai and said something in his ear. I asked Kai later what Danny had said. He said: "He said I am a strong boy." That is the right thing to say to a four-year-old. Danny knows what to say.

The hot dog bar was my domain from the moment Hannah agreed it was happening, and I take that kind of assignment seriously. If I’m standing at a grill with twelve people — half of them under five — waiting on food, I want something worth putting on it. Store-bought sauce has always felt like giving up at the last step, so for years now I’ve been making my own. It comes together fast, keeps well, and it’s the kind of thing that makes a hot dog taste like it was actually meant to be there on a party table next to bean bread and a three-layer dinosaur cake.

Prep Time: 5 minutes | Cook Time: 20 minutes | Total Time: 25 minutes | Servings: 16 (about 2 cups)

Ingredients

1 1/2 cups ketchup
1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
1/4 cup brown sugar, packed
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoon yellow mustard
1 tablespoon molasses
1 teaspoon smoked paprika
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon onion powder
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper (optional, adjust to taste)
1/4 teaspoon salt

Instructions

Combine ingredients. Add all ingredients to a medium saucepan and whisk together until fully combined.
Bring to a simmer. Set the pan over medium heat and stir frequently until the mixture just begins to bubble around the edges, about 5 minutes.
Reduce and thicken. Lower the heat to medium-low and let the sauce simmer uncovered, stirring occasionally, for 15 minutes until it thickens slightly and the flavors have melded.
Taste and adjust. Remove from heat and taste. Add more brown sugar for sweetness, vinegar for tang, or cayenne for heat as needed.
Cool and store. Let cool to room temperature before serving or transferring to a jar. Store refrigerated for up to 2 weeks.

Nutrition (per serving)

The Best Barbecue Sauce — What I Make When I’m the One at the Grill