Barclay's Kefir Pancakes -- Made for Long Mornings and New Beginnings

Seven letters exchanged this week. The agency translates each one and forwards it along, which creates a forty-eight-hour round trip. I am a woman who used to measure latency in milliseconds. Now I measure it in days and I am grateful for every day. The delay gives me time to compose. The delay makes me careful.

Jisoo told me about her life this week, in fragments. Her parents owned a small shop in Busan — a dry goods store, the kind of thing that does not exist anymore in the same way. She was the third of four children. She was the good student of the family. When she got pregnant at seventeen, her mother cried and her father stopped speaking to her for three months. They sent her to a distant aunt in Gangnam-gu for the pregnancy. She was there when I was born. She held me, she said, for about an hour. And then she did not see me again until she saw the photo I sent her, sixty hours ago.

I asked her about my birth father. She wrote back carefully. She said his name was Seong-ho. He was eighteen, a year older. He was a mechanic's apprentice. She does not know where he is now. They did not stay in touch. He did not know about me — she had not told him until after the baby was relinquished, in a final letter. He had written back once, apologetic and young and overwhelmed. She does not know if he is alive. I do not have a name to look for. I have a first name only. "Seong-ho" is as common as "John." I will not find him. Jisoo apologized for this. I wrote back: "You don't need to apologize for him. He isn't you."

Jisoo asked me about my parents. I told her about David and Karen. I told her about Karen's Parkinson's. I told her about the green bean casserole and the tuna casserole and the suburban Bellevue childhood with the golden retriever and the soccer practice. I told her I was loved. I wanted her to know I was loved. I think she needed that, and I needed her to have it.

She asked about my brother. I told her about Kevin — that he is also Korean, also adopted, not biologically mine, and that he has been through hard years and is in recovery now. She wrote back: "I will pray for him." It is the first time anyone has said those words to me in that direction. I did not know Jisoo was religious. I have a whole list of things I do not know. The list gets longer every day, in a good way.

On Saturday I made pajeon — green onion pancakes — and ate them standing at the counter with James while we looked at a map of Busan. He bookmarked neighborhoods. I have not committed to going yet. I will. Not this month. Maybe in August. Maybe fall. We will see when Jisoo is ready. We will see when I am ready.

Dr. Yoon this week: we talked about pace. She said, "You are doing something new. There is no rulebook for this pace. Listen to your body." My body is saying: keep going. Slowly. But keep going.

The recipe this week is pajeon. Cut green onions fanned into a pan of batter, fried crisp on both sides, cut into squares with kitchen scissors. The dipping sauce is soy, vinegar, sesame oil, gochugaru, scallions. A dish for rainy days, for long conversations over the kitchen counter, for looking at maps of places you are about to meet.

The pajeon I described in the story above is a dish I’ve been making on instinct lately—something crisp and savory to stand over while James and I look at maps and talk about what comes next. But the mornings between letters have needed something different: something slower, something that rises and puffs and asks nothing of you except that you wait. These kefir pancakes have become that thing for me. The tang of the kefir, the patience of the batter resting, the way you have to let them set before you flip—it all feels right for a season where I am learning, again and again, that the best things take time.

Barclay’s Kefir Pancakes

Prep Time: 10 minutes | Cook Time: 20 minutes | Total Time: 30 minutes | Servings: 4 (about 12 pancakes)

Ingredients

• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1 tablespoon sugar
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup plain kefir (whole milk or low-fat)
• 1 large egg
• 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted and slightly cooled
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• Butter or neutral oil, for the pan
• Maple syrup and fresh berries, for serving (optional)

Instructions

1. Mix dry ingredients. In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt until evenly combined.
2. Mix wet ingredients. In a separate medium bowl, whisk together the kefir, egg, melted butter, and vanilla extract until smooth.
3. Combine. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and stir gently with a spatula until just combined—a few small lumps are fine. Do not overmix. Let the batter rest for 5 minutes while you heat the pan.
4. Heat the pan. Warm a nonstick skillet or griddle over medium-low heat. Add a small pat of butter or a light drizzle of oil and swirl to coat.
5. Cook the pancakes. Pour about 1/4 cup of batter per pancake onto the skillet. Cook until bubbles form across the surface and the edges look set, about 2—3 minutes. Flip carefully and cook for another 1—2 minutes, until the underside is golden.
6. Keep warm and repeat. Transfer finished pancakes to a plate tented with foil to keep warm. Continue with remaining batter, adding butter or oil to the pan as needed between batches.
7. Serve. Stack and serve warm with maple syrup, fresh berries, or any toppings you love.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 220 | Protein: 7g | Fat: 8g | Carbs: 30g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 310mg