Banana Chai Muffins

Six weeks. The counting has shifted slightly — not daily now but weekly. Gary says that's fine, that the shift from daily to weekly counting usually happens around the six-week mark when the acute white-knuckling gives way to something more like routine. Not comfortable routine — I don't trust comfortable — but practiced routine. You show up. You do the thing. You keep going.

Presidents' Day weekend. I drove to Billings Saturday to shoe the horses at Debbie's operation — she wanted them done before the February riding season started, which is the optimistic end of when the February riding season starts in Montana. Two of the twelve horses had some hoof wall issues from the dry indoor winter, and I spent extra time on those, cleaning up the cracks and shaping carefully. Debbie asked how I was doing. I said fine. She said, "You look different than when you started." I asked different how. She said, "Steadier." I thanked her and drove home thinking about that word. Steadier. That's the work.

Patrick's hands have been worse again this week. He's had two bad days where the tremors made it hard for him to do much of anything detailed. He refuses to see the doctor about the progression — he saw a neurologist in Billings two years ago when the tremors first became undeniable, and the neurologist said it was likely essential tremor with possible early Parkinsonism, and Patrick came home and didn't go back. That's his choice. It's not my place to override it. I watch. I do more. I don't say anything about doing more.

I made campfire biscuits Saturday evening, outside, in the Dutch oven over coals, even though it was twenty degrees. The biscuits came out right. Standing over a fire in the cold while the biscuits cook is its own kind of simple and I needed the simple.

The biscuits did their job that Saturday night, but when the cold got into my hands and Patrick was already inside, I kept thinking about warmth that lasts a little longer — something you can wrap both hands around the next morning. These banana chai muffins have become that thing for me: simple enough that the steps don’t require much thought, spiced enough that the kitchen smells like something intentional is happening. You don’t need a fire or twenty-degree air to earn them. You just need to show up and do the thing.

Prep Time: 15 min | Cook Time: 22 min | Total Time: 37 min | Servings: 12 muffins

Ingredients

3 very ripe bananas, mashed (about 1 1/4 cups)
1/3 cup unsalted butter, melted and slightly cooled
3/4 cup granulated sugar
1 large egg, beaten
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
3/4 teaspoon ground cardamom
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Instructions

Preheat and prep. Heat oven to 375°F. Line a 12-cup muffin tin with paper liners or grease each cup well.
Mash bananas. In a large bowl, mash the ripe bananas with a fork until mostly smooth. A few small lumps are fine.
Mix wet ingredients. Stir melted butter into the mashed banana until combined. Add sugar, beaten egg, and vanilla and stir until smooth.
Combine dry ingredients. In a separate bowl, whisk together flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, cardamom, ginger, cloves, and black pepper.
Fold together. Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients and fold gently with a spatula until just combined. Do not overmix — a few streaks of flour are acceptable.
Fill the tin. Divide batter evenly among the 12 muffin cups, filling each about 3/4 full.
Bake. Bake for 20 to 22 minutes, until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean and the tops are lightly golden.
Cool. Let muffins cool in the pan for 5 minutes, then transfer to a wire rack. Best served warm.

Nutrition (per serving)

Banana Chai Muffins — What I Made After Standing Over a Fire in the Cold