Baked Doughnuts -- The Birthday Cake I Actually Made for Myself

I turn twenty-nine on Thursday. James has planned something small. I do not know what. I have asked him to keep it minimal — I am three weeks out from the wedding, two weeks out from the bachelorette, and I cannot have another peak this month. He has promised. I trust him.

Jisoo wrote on Monday: "Happy birthday in advance, Dahee-Stephanie. I do not have a photo of you at one. I have a photo of you at three. You will be twenty-nine. Half of my lifetime when I had you. You are almost the age I was when I met Jun-ho. Time is so strange." She sent me a photo of herself at twenty-nine, at a park, in a blue sweater, holding Jihoon as a toddler. I had never seen this photo. I studied it. I recognized my own face in hers. I also recognized — strange to say — the version of me James fell in love with. Jisoo at twenty-nine looks like Stephanie at twenty-six. It is uncanny and grounding and I am going to put the photo next to my kitchen corkboard.

Karen called on Sunday to ask what I wanted for my birthday. I said, "I want you to be well." Karen said, "Be specific, Stephanie. Something I can shop for." I said, "A new cookbook." She said, "Done." She will buy me a new cookbook. It is what Karen does for my birthday every year. She buys me a cookbook. Last year it was a Taiwanese cookbook because of James. Two years ago it was a Korean vegan cookbook. Three years ago it was the Flavor Bible. Karen has been curating my kitchen from Bellevue for years, one book at a time. My kitchen is her library of gifts.

Kevin called. He said, "Happy almost-birthday. What's the plan?" I said, "Quiet." He said, "Good. You earn quiet." He said, "I have a gift." He will not tell me what. I hate this. I do not hate this. I pretend to hate this.

Wedding planning: the rehearsal dinner is now a thing. It is at a restaurant in Seattle — a small Korean-Taiwanese fusion place owned by friends of James's from his Microsoft days. Fifteen people on the Friday night. Jisoo and Jun-ho will be there. They fly in September 20. I fly to Korea Air on the morning of September 20 to pick them up. No, wait, that is backwards. They are flying to Seattle. I am picking them up at Sea-Tac. James will be with me. It will be my second reunion with Jisoo after the Busan trip. This one will be more ordinary. She will come through customs. I will meet her there. I will take her home. I will give her a bed. She will see my kitchen for the first time. My kitchen, the one I have been practicing in for her for a year.

Dr. Yoon: we talked about the birthday. She said, "You are turning twenty-nine with the life you have built. Notice it. Mark it." I am marking it here. I am twenty-nine tomorrow. I have a fiancé. I have two mothers. I have a brother, a sister, a brother-in-law. I have a career I am going to leave. I have a business I am going to start. I have a kitchen full of people's recipes that I have earned the right to cook. I am okay.

The recipe this week is a very simple birthday cake — vanilla buttermilk cake with vanilla buttercream, the kind Karen used to make me as a child. I made it for myself on Sunday. I will bring it home from the condo to the office Thursday and share with my team. I will not light candles. I will not make a wish. I will eat a slice. I will go back to work. I will be twenty-nine.

The cake I mentioned — the vanilla buttermilk one Karen used to make — was what I planned. But when Sunday came and I was standing in my kitchen, the one I’ve been quietly practicing in for Jisoo’s arrival, I wanted something I could share easily, something that didn’t need candles or ceremony. These baked doughnuts are what I landed on: soft and simple and just sweet enough, the kind of thing you bring to the office in a box and set down on the counter without making a speech. Twenty-nine deserved exactly that.

Baked Doughnuts

Prep Time: 15 minutes | Cook Time: 12 minutes | Total Time: 27 minutes | Servings: 12 doughnuts

Ingredients

• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 3/4 cup granulated sugar
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 3/4 cup buttermilk
• 2 large eggs
• 3 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
• 1 1/2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
• 4 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted (for topping)
• 1/2 cup granulated sugar mixed with 1 teaspoon cinnamon (for topping)

Instructions

1. Preheat and prep. Preheat your oven to 375°F. Lightly grease a standard doughnut pan with nonstick spray and set aside.
2. Mix dry ingredients. In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and nutmeg until evenly combined.
3. Mix wet ingredients. In a separate bowl, whisk together the buttermilk, eggs, melted butter, and vanilla extract until smooth.
4. Combine. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and stir gently with a spatula until just combined — do not overmix. The batter will be thick.
5. Fill the pan. Transfer the batter to a piping bag or a zip-top bag with one corner snipped off. Pipe the batter into the prepared doughnut pan, filling each cavity about 3/4 full.
6. Bake. Bake for 10—12 minutes, until the doughnuts spring back when lightly pressed and the edges are just golden. Do not overbake.
7. Add topping. Let the doughnuts cool in the pan for 5 minutes, then turn out onto a wire rack. While still warm, brush each doughnut with melted butter and roll or sprinkle generously with the cinnamon sugar mixture.
8. Serve. Serve warm or at room temperature. Store any leftovers in an airtight container at room temperature for up to two days.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 218 | Protein: 4g | Fat: 8g | Carbs: 34g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 185mg