August heat and the kitchen is a furnace but I am in it anyway because I have been away too long and the making up requires every day, every meal, every hour at the stove that I missed during the months of silence. I cook the way a person returning from a long journey unpacks — one dish at a time, rediscovering things I had forgotten I owned, re-establishing the routines that were interrupted by the catastrophe.
Wednesday Bible study supper: baked chicken, green beans, cornbread. The second supper I have cooked since coming back. The church women welcomed me again, not with fanfare but with normalcy, which is what I need — not to be treated as the grieving mother but as the kitchen mother, the woman who feeds, the one who has always been here and is here again and will be here next Wednesday and the Wednesday after that. The normalcy is the gift. The normalcy says: you are not defined by what you lost. You are defined by what you do. And what I do is cook.
CJ called midweek. He mentioned Shanice again — the schoolteacher from the AME church in Huntsville. He said they have been talking more. He said she is kind. He said she makes him laugh. I said bring her home when you are ready, the same thing I said months ago, and this time he said maybe Thanksgiving. Maybe Thanksgiving. The word maybe in the mouth of a man who does not commit easily is closer to certainly than most people's yes. I will make extra food. I will set an extra place. I will welcome whoever my son brings to the table because the table needs more people, not fewer, and every new person at the table is proof that life continues, that love continues, that the dining is not done just because one diner is gone.
Made a big batch of peach cobbler this weekend from the last peaches of the season at the farmers market. The peaches were so ripe they bruised when I breathed on them, which is the ideal ripeness for cobbler because bruised peaches have given up trying to be beautiful and have committed to being sweet, and there is a lesson in that about grief and age and the beauty of things that have been damaged. The cobbler was perfect. I ate a slice and thought about Marcus, who would have eaten three slices and asked for ice cream, and the thought was a knife but I let it cut because the cutting is how I remember and the remembering is how he stays.
I planted nothing this year. The garden is weeds and memory. Next year I will plant. Next year the garden will return. But this year the ground can rest. This year the ground and I are both recovering from what was planted in March — not seeds but a boy, not in soil but in the earth of Jefferson County, and the earth holds him the way the kitchen holds me: completely, permanently, without conditions.
That Wednesday supper — the baked chicken, the green beans, the cornbread — it was not fancy and it did not need to be. What it needed to be was reliable, the kind of dish that says I am back and I am staying. This Baked Brown Sugar Italian Chicken is what I have been making on repeat since I returned to the kitchen, because the brown sugar caramelizes into something sweet and steady, and the simplicity of it means my hands can work while my mind rests, and right now that is exactly what I need from a recipe.
Baked Brown Sugar Italian Chicken
Prep Time: 10 minutes | Cook Time: 45 minutes | Total Time: 55 minutes | Servings: 6
Ingredients
- 4 pounds bone-in, skin-on chicken thighs and drumsticks (about 8–10 pieces)
- 1/3 cup packed dark brown sugar
- 1 packet (0.7 oz) Italian dressing seasoning mix
- 1/4 cup butter, melted
- 2 tablespoons olive oil
- 2 cloves garlic, minced
- 1 teaspoon paprika
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
- 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper (optional)
- Fresh parsley, chopped, for garnish
Instructions
- Preheat the oven. Heat your oven to 400°F. Line a large baking sheet or 9x13 baking dish with foil and lightly grease it.
- Mix the coating. In a small bowl, stir together the brown sugar, Italian seasoning mix, melted butter, olive oil, minced garlic, paprika, salt, black pepper, and cayenne if using until combined into a thick paste.
- Season the chicken. Pat the chicken pieces dry with paper towels and arrange them skin-side up in the prepared pan. Spoon the brown sugar mixture evenly over each piece, spreading it across the tops and sides.
- Bake. Place the pan in the oven and bake for 40–45 minutes, or until the internal temperature reaches 165°F and the skin is deep golden brown and caramelized. Baste the chicken with pan juices once halfway through cooking.
- Rest and serve. Remove from the oven and let the chicken rest for 5 minutes. Spoon the pan juices over the pieces, sprinkle with fresh parsley, and serve warm.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 385 | Protein: 32g | Fat: 24g | Carbs: 13g | Fiber: 0g | Sodium: 620mg