Asparagus Snack Squares — What the Kitchen Holds and Passes On

Mamma's bread pans are on the shelf where they have always been — the rectangular tin one for limpa, the round enameled one for cardamom, the small loaf pan for the test batches she made on Tuesdays. I use them. The using is the keeping. Every time I knead bread in her bowl with her wooden spoon and slide the loaf into her pan, she is in the kitchen with me. She is not. She is. Both things. Gerald at the Damiano Center asked about Mamma. I said she was gone. He hugged me. The hug was longer than I expected. Gerald is a thoughtful man and not a hugger by inclination, and the hug from him was a weighted thing. He said, "Linda, my mother died when I was nine and I have missed her every day since." He said: "It does not stop. But it changes." I said: "I know." We kept ladling soup. Forty more bowls. The hug was over. The work continued. Sophie is showing now. The baby is due in summer. She is naming her Ingrid. The name was a gift, given to me at the worst time, which is also the right time. Mamma would approve. Mamma did, in fact, know — Sophie told her in October, before Mamma's mind started slipping at the end. Mamma had cried. Mamma had said, "Sophie, that is the right thing." The right thing carries forward. Anna brought me a puppy. A golden retriever from the same Two Harbors breeder where Paul and I got the first Sven. I told her I did not want another dog. I held the puppy within thirty seconds. His name is Sven. Sven the Second. The puppy is enormous in his enthusiasm and tiny in his actual size. He is exactly what the kitchen needs right now. I cooked Salmon with dill this week. Lake trout from a fisherman at the marina, or salmon from the co-op, slow-roasted at 275 with butter and dill and lemon. Twenty-five minutes. The fish flakes apart at the touch of a fork. Damiano Thursday. A teenage boy came in alone. He was hungry. He did not want to make eye contact. I served him soup. I did not make small talk. He ate two bowls. He left. The not-asking was the gift. The not-asking is sometimes the right form of attention. The teenagers know. The kitchen is the reliquary. I have used this word in the blog before. I am using it again because it is the right word. A reliquary is the container that holds the bones of the saints. The kitchen holds the bones of my saints — Pappa, Lars, Mamma, Paul, Erik, the first Sven, the second Sven. The bones are not literal bones. The bones are the marble slab and the bread pans and the glasses on the shelf and the wooden spoon worn smooth by Mamma's hand. The kitchen holds them. The kitchen is what holds them. It is enough. Paul is not here. Mamma is not here. Pappa is not here. Erik is not here. They are all here in the kitchen, in the smell, in the taste, in the wooden spoon and the bread pans and the marble slab. The dead are not where the body went. The dead are in the kitchen. It is enough.

The salmon I made this week was mine alone — a quiet thing, eaten at the counter with Sven the Second watching hopefully from the floor. But what I bring to Damiano on Thursdays has to feed forty strangers, and strangers need something that asks nothing of them: no utensils, no eye contact required, just something warm set in front of them that says someone made this for you. These Asparagus Snack Squares are that thing. I have been making them every spring since Sophie was small, and this spring, with a granddaughter named Ingrid on the way and a new puppy underfoot and Mamma’s bread pans still on the shelf, it felt exactly right to make them again.

Asparagus Snack Squares

Prep Time: 15 min | Cook Time: 20 min | Total Time: 35 min | Servings: 24 squares

Ingredients

• 2 tubes (8 oz each) refrigerated crescent roll dough
• 1 package (8 oz) cream cheese, softened
• 1/3 cup sour cream
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/2 teaspoon onion powder
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
• 1 lb fresh asparagus, tough ends trimmed, cut into 1-inch pieces
• 1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
• 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes (optional)

Instructions

1. Preheat oven. Heat oven to 375°F. Lightly grease a 15x10-inch rimmed baking sheet.
2. Press the crust. Unroll both tubes of crescent dough and press together onto the prepared pan, sealing the perforations and pressing the dough up the sides about 1/2 inch to form a border. Bake for 8 minutes, until just set and lightly golden. Remove and let cool 5 minutes.
3. Make the cream cheese base. Beat the softened cream cheese and sour cream together until smooth. Stir in garlic powder, onion powder, salt, and black pepper. Spread evenly over the pre-baked crust, leaving the border clear.
4. Prepare the asparagus. Toss the asparagus pieces with olive oil and a pinch of salt in a small bowl until lightly coated.
5. Top and bake. Scatter the asparagus evenly over the cream cheese layer. Sprinkle mozzarella over the top, then finish with Parmesan and red pepper flakes if using. Return to oven and bake 12—15 minutes, until cheese is melted and asparagus is tender-crisp and beginning to brown at the tips.
6. Cut and serve. Let cool 5 minutes before slicing into squares. Serve warm or at room temperature.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 142 | Protein: 4g | Fat: 9g | Carbs: 11g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 248mg