Asian Turkey Burger with Apple Slaw

July. Independence Day weekend and the irony is so thick I could spread it on toast. Independence. The word sits in my vocabulary differently now — not fireworks and flags but the quiet, terrifying freedom of a woman who has decided to be alone. I am choosing independence. I am choosing to walk out of a marriage and into a life that has no shape yet, that is still liquid, still forming, still the dashi before the miso is added. The dashi is clear. The miso will come. I trust the process.

I made edamame and cold beer for Brian on the Fourth — his beer, my edamame, the compromise of a mixed household at an American holiday. The edamame was perfectly salted. The beer was whatever Brian drinks now, which I have stopped tracking because tracking it is either concern or surveillance and I don't want to be either. He sat on the apartment steps and drank and watched the distant fireworks — Portland's official display visible between buildings — and Miya sat on his lap and pointed at the sky and said "boom!" and Brian laughed and held her and for one moment he was the man I married: present, warm, laughing with his daughter. The moment was real. The marriage is still over. Both things are true. Both things can be true at the same time. This is the thing nobody tells you about divorce: it is not the death of love. It is the acknowledgment that love is not enough.

I have been researching apartments. Secretly, on my phone, late at night, scrolling through listings for one-bedroom apartments in Southeast Portland — something small, something near the preschool, something I can afford on yoga and blog income, which is not much, which is barely enough, which will have to be enough because the alternative is staying and the staying will kill something in me that the leaving might save.

Lin knows everything. Lin is three years ahead on this road and her advice is practical and unsentimental: "Find the apartment first. Tell him second. Have a plan before you have a conversation, because the conversation will derail the plan if the plan isn't solid." Lin is right. Lin is always right about the structural engineering of difficult decisions. The plan is forming. The apartment search is the plan. The plan is the bridge between the life I have and the life I am building, and the bridge is not finished yet, but the pilings are in the water.

The edamame was gone by dark, and Brian had finished his beer, and Miya had fallen asleep against his shoulder, and I stood in the kitchen afterward thinking about what I actually wanted to eat—not what we compromised on, not what split the difference, but what I would make if I were already living in that one-bedroom in Southeast Portland, cooking for myself and Miya on a Tuesday. This burger is that answer: it’s the flavor profile I grew up loving, ginger and sesame and something bright cutting through, and the apple slaw is crisp the way the air felt that night after the fireworks faded—clean, a little sharp, the beginning of something.

Prep Time: 20 min | Cook Time: 15 min | Total Time: 35 min | Servings: 4

Ingredients

For the burgers:
1 lb lean ground turkey
2 tablespoons low-sodium soy sauce
1 tablespoon fresh ginger, grated
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 green onions, thinly sliced
1 teaspoon toasted sesame oil
1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
1 tablespoon hoisin sauce
4 whole-wheat burger buns, toasted
For the apple slaw:
1 medium Granny Smith apple, julienned or coarsely grated
1 cup shredded napa cabbage
1/4 cup shredded carrots
2 tablespoons rice vinegar
1 teaspoon honey
1 teaspoon sesame oil
Pinch of salt and white pepper

Instructions

Make the slaw. In a medium bowl, whisk together the rice vinegar, honey, and sesame oil. Add the julienned apple, napa cabbage, and shredded carrots. Toss to combine, season with salt and white pepper, and refrigerate while you prepare the burgers.
Mix the patties. In a large bowl, combine ground turkey, soy sauce, grated ginger, garlic, green onions, sesame oil, red pepper flakes, and hoisin sauce. Mix gently until just combined—do not overwork the meat or the patties will be dense.
Form and chill. Divide the mixture into 4 equal patties, about 3/4-inch thick. Press a shallow indent into the center of each patty with your thumb to prevent puffing. Refrigerate for 10 minutes if time allows.
Cook the burgers. Heat a grill pan or outdoor grill over medium-high heat and lightly oil the surface. Cook patties 5–6 minutes per side, until the internal temperature reaches 165°F and the outside is nicely caramelized. Do not press down on patties while cooking.
Toast the buns. During the last minute of cooking, place buns cut-side down on the grill or in a dry skillet until golden.
Assemble. Place each patty on a toasted bun and top generously with the chilled apple slaw. Serve immediately while the burger is hot and the slaw is cold—the contrast is the point.

Nutrition (per serving)

Asian Turkey Burger with Apple Slaw — When the Edamame Is Gone and Something New Has to Begin