Animal Style Fries — The Saturday Roy Came to Dinner

Roy Calloway drove up to Tulsa Saturday by himself. First time he has driven the highway alone in three years (his eyesight at eighty-four is the eyesight of an eighty-four-year-old). He had called Mama on Wednesday to ask permission to make the drive. Mama had said yes only after he agreed to leave Sapulpa before two PM (so the trip would be daylight) and to text her every twenty miles. Brayden is fifty-nine weeks old. Roy wanted to see him. The trip was Roy’s idea and Roy’s execution.

The animal-style fries are the homemade version of the In-N-Out hidden-menu item — crispy oven fries topped with melted American cheese, grilled-onions cooked in beef drippings, and a Thousand-Island-style sauce (mayonnaise, ketchup, pickle relish, mustard, white vinegar). The dish is unapologetically American diner-food and is the kind of side that pairs perfectly with the homemade-bbq-burgers I have been making this fall.

The technique question on animal-style fries is layering. The fries need to be hot when the cheese goes on (the heat from the fries melts the cheese without requiring a separate broil step). The grilled onions need to be in soft-caramelized condition when they go on (not browned-and-crisp, which is a different onion-state). The sauce goes on last in a drizzled-not-poured application so the fries do not get soggy.

Saturday I made it. Roy had a small portion (his appetite at eighty-four is not what it was). Dustin had three plates. Brayden had a small piece of plain fry (no cheese, no onion, no sauce). The dish was the centerpiece of a small Saturday-night dinner with Roy at our kitchen table.

Animal Style Fries

Prep Time: 15 min | Cook Time: 30 min | Total Time: 45 min | Servings: 4

Ingredients

• 1 (32 oz) bag frozen crinkle-cut or shoestring fries
• 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
• Salt to taste
• 1 1/2 cups shredded American cheese (or Velveeta-style, melted)
• For the special sauce:
• 1/2 cup mayonnaise
• 3 tablespoons ketchup
• 2 tablespoons sweet pickle relish
• 1 teaspoon white vinegar
• 1/2 teaspoon sugar
• Salt and pepper to taste
• For the grilled onions:
• 2 large yellow onions, finely diced
• 1 tablespoon butter
• 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
• Pinch of salt

Instructions

1. Make the special sauce. Whisk together mayonnaise, ketchup, relish, white vinegar, and sugar in a small bowl. Season with salt and pepper. Refrigerate until ready to serve.
2. Caramelize the onions. Heat butter and oil in a skillet over medium-low heat. Add diced onions and a pinch of salt. Cook, stirring frequently, for 20—25 minutes until deeply golden and soft. Do not rush this step — low and slow is the move.
3. Cook the fries. Bake frozen fries according to package directions (or fry in oil at 375°F for 4—5 minutes) until golden and crispy. Season with salt immediately out of the oven.
4. Melt the cheese. While fries are hot, pile them onto an oven-safe platter or baking sheet. Layer shredded cheese over the top and place under the broiler for 1—2 minutes until melted and bubbly. Watch closely.
5. Assemble. Spoon the caramelized onions generously over the cheesy fries. Drizzle the special sauce liberally on top. Serve immediately while everything is hot and saucy.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 520 | Protein: 11g | Fat: 31g | Carbs: 51g | Fiber: 4g | Sodium: 890mg