By June. The pandemic continues but the edges have softened — not medically, the virus is still here, but psychologically, the way any sustained crisis eventually becomes background noise, the way the body adapts to the mask and the distance and the daily dread. This is not acceptance. This is endurance. They look the same from the outside but feel very different inside, and I am enduring, not accepting, because acceptance implies that this is how things should be and it is not how things should be. Things should be: sixteen people at my table on Sunday. Things should be: Mami at dinner every night. Things should be: my arms around my grandchild. Things are not. I endure.
Jenny is eight months pregnant. Due in five weeks. The baby — a girl, they told us, a girl, another granddaughter — is healthy and growing and will be born in a pandemic, will enter the world in a hospital where grandmothers are not allowed, where the first face she sees will be masked, where the welcome she deserves will be delivered at a distance. I am trying not to be angry about this. I am failing. I am angry about everything this virus has taken and everything it is about to take, including the moment — the specific, irreplaceable moment — of holding my granddaughter for the first time, which should happen in a hospital room with my arms and my voice and my tears and will instead happen through a car window in a parking lot, maybe, if the rules allow even that.
I made alcapurrias this week — the Puerto Rican fritters, yuca and green banana masa stuffed with seasoned ground beef, shaped by hand, fried in hot oil until the outside is golden and the inside is a map of the island. I made three dozen and froze two dozen for Jenny's postpartum and ate the rest with Eduardo on the porch because the porch is the only restaurant open and the weather is warm enough to pretend the porch is a restaurant and the alcapurrias are the menu and the cook is me and the reservation is forever.
I can’t share the alcapurria recipe that's been in my family for three generations —some things stay inside the kitchen where they were born— but what I can share is this: the act of shaping something with your hands, lowering it into hot oil, and watching it turn golden is one of the few things that made me feel capable during those weeks. Angel Wings gave me the same feeling: dough pressed between my palms, the sizzle, the transformation. They are not alcapurrias, but they are made the same way love is made —by hand, with heat, for someone you can’t stop thinking about.
Angel Wings
Prep Time: 25 min | Cook Time: 20 min | Total Time: 45 min | Servings: 36 pieces
Ingredients
- 3 egg yolks
- 1 whole egg
- 1/2 cup sour cream
- 1 tablespoon white sugar
- 1 tablespoon dark rum or vanilla extract
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 2 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for dusting
- Vegetable oil, for frying (about 4 cups)
- Powdered sugar, for dusting
Instructions
- Make the dough. In a large bowl, beat the egg yolks, whole egg, sour cream, sugar, rum (or vanilla), and salt together until smooth and pale, about 2 minutes.
- Add flour. Stir in flour, 1/2 cup at a time, until a soft but not sticky dough forms. Turn onto a lightly floured surface and knead gently for 2—3 minutes until smooth. Wrap and rest 15 minutes.
- Roll thin. Divide dough into four portions. Roll each portion out on a floured surface as thin as possible —about 1/16 inch. The thinner the dough, the crispier the wing.
- Cut and shape. Use a sharp knife or pastry wheel to cut strips about 1 1/2 inches wide and 4 inches long. Cut a 1-inch slit in the center of each strip and pull one end of the dough through the slit to form the signature twisted wing shape.
- Heat the oil. Pour oil into a deep, heavy pot to a depth of 3 inches. Heat over medium-high to 375°F. Set a wire rack over a baking sheet lined with paper towels.
- Fry in batches. Fry 4—6 wings at a time, turning once, until puffed and golden, about 1—2 minutes per side. Do not crowd the pot. Remove with a slotted spoon and drain on the rack.
- Dust and serve. While still warm, dust generously with powdered sugar. Serve immediately, or cool completely before storing in an airtight container.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 58 | Protein: 1g | Fat: 3g | Carbs: 7g | Fiber: 0g | Sodium: 38mg