By Lily turned six on Wednesday. Six. She celebrated by requesting: (1) a horse party (again), (2) a horse cake (again), and (3) a real horse (again, and again denied, though with each passing year the denial gets harder because the wanting gets louder and the savings account gets fuller and the land dream gets closer). The party was at Sunshine Stables — her fourth, her home turf — and she rode Copper with the authority of a queen inspecting her domain.
Janet pulled me aside at the party and said, "I want to talk to you about Lily competing. She's ready for junior shows. The local circuit starts in fall." My six-year-old. Competing. On horseback. My heart rate spiked and my eyes filled and I said, "Let me think about it," and Janet said, "Take your time. But she's ready." I know she's ready. I've known since the first trot. But knowing your child is ready for something and letting them do it are two different kinds of bravery, and the second kind is harder.
Mason gave Lily a book for her birthday: a chapter book about a girl who trains horses. He inscribed it in his careful handwriting: "For Lily — the best horse girl I know. Love, your brother Mason." Lily read the inscription and hugged him and said, "You're the best brother AND the best scientist," and Mason said, "Thanks. Those are different things but I'll take both." They are seven and six and they are, against all odds and all divorce statistics, genuinely close. They argue and annoy and compete, but underneath it is something solid and warm and Dawson — the knowledge that family is the first and last thing, and that siblings are the people who were there from the beginning and will be there at the end.
I made Lily's birthday cake: horse-shaped, chocolate, with a fondant mane and candy eyes. Fourth year running. Each one better than the last. This year's actually looked like a horse. Progress.
Four years of horse cakes, and this year’s finally looked like an actual horse — I’m counting that as a win. What I’ve learned along the way is that the shape matters less than the frosting, and this amaretto butter frosting is the reason Lily keeps requesting chocolate cake specifically: it’s the combination she’s come to associate with her birthday, with Sunshine Stables, with being celebrated. I started using it in year two and I’ll never go back — it pipes beautifully for a fondant-trimmed mane, it tastes like something a grown-up sneaks a second slice of, and it makes any six-year-old feel like a queen inspecting her domain.
Amaretto Butter Frosting
Prep Time: 10 minutes | Cook Time: 0 minutes | Total Time: 10 minutes | Servings: 12 (frosts one 2-layer 9-inch cake)
Ingredients
- 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened to room temperature
- 4 cups powdered sugar, sifted
- 3 tablespoons amaretto liqueur
- 1 tablespoon heavy cream or milk, plus more as needed
- 1/4 teaspoon fine salt
- 1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
Instructions
- Beat the butter. In a large bowl using a hand mixer or stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat the softened butter on medium-high speed for 2–3 minutes until pale, fluffy, and noticeably increased in volume. Scrape down the sides of the bowl.
- Add sugar gradually. Reduce mixer speed to low. Add the sifted powdered sugar one cup at a time, mixing after each addition until just incorporated before adding the next. Scrape down the sides between additions.
- Add the amaretto. With the mixer on low, pour in the amaretto, vanilla extract, and salt. Mix until combined, then increase speed to medium and beat for 1 minute.
- Adjust consistency. Add heavy cream one teaspoon at a time, beating on medium-high after each addition, until the frosting reaches a light, spreadable consistency. For a stiffer frosting suited to piping a mane or rosettes, use less cream. For a smoother crumb coat, add a touch more.
- Taste and finish. Taste and adjust — a pinch more salt sharpens the flavor, a splash more amaretto deepens it. Beat on high for 30 seconds to finish whipping. Use immediately or store covered at room temperature for up to 8 hours. Refrigerate for longer storage; re-whip before using.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 310 | Protein: 0g | Fat: 16g | Carbs: 42g | Fiber: 0g | Sodium: 55mg