Sticky Toffee Rice Pudding with Caramel Cream

Sean cannot walk. The weakness in his left side has progressed. He can move from the bed to a bedside commode with two-person assistance. He cannot bear weight long. This happened between Tuesday and Thursday. It was a shift. It was not a shock — we had expected it — but the transition was fast. Lucia adjusted the care plan. The hospice aide is coming twice a day now. I do most of the care myself. I am an oncology nurse. I know how to do a bed bath. I know how to turn a patient. I know how to change a gown. I know the positions that prevent bed sores. I am doing the work. Grace helps. The aide is excellent.

I feed him. Small spoons of soup. Small spoons of ice cream. Small cups of broth through a straw. He eats what he can. He is eating very little. He is losing weight faster now — two pounds this week. He is quite thin. His face has the specific hollow of the late-stage cancer patient. I have looked at this face in other people. I have looked at it across a bed. Now I am looking at it across my own living room.

My mother is here every day now. She drives down in the morning and goes home at night. Grace is here. My mother and Grace are both in the kitchen most of the day. They are cooking. They are cleaning. They are keeping things moving. I am with Sean. I am with the kids. The kids are going to preschool three days a week still — I felt it was important to keep their structure. They come home. They visit Sean. They eat. They play. They go to bed. Nora still sleeps in her own bed. Liam still sleeps in the camping pad in our bedroom upstairs. Sean sleeps in the hospital bed in the living room. I sleep on the couch five feet from him.

Patrick came Wednesday night for two hours. He had just gotten off shift. He came in his uniform and sat with Sean and held his hand and told him about the week at the firehouse. Sean listened. He smiled occasionally. He did not say much. Patrick did most of the talking. When he left he hugged me and said "I will come every Wednesday night after shift." He has. He will.

Meghan comes Saturdays. Grace does daily. My mother does daily. Sean's sister comes Wednesdays and Sundays. Father Donnelly came Tuesday. Father Donnelly will be coming twice a week now.

Friday Sean said "Kate. I am tired." I said "I know, Sean." He said "I am ready." I said "I am here, Sean. Whatever happens, I am here." He said "I know." He slept.

Saturday I made breakfast in bed for him. Scrambled eggs I had pureed with butter. A mug of warm broth. A small cup of applesauce. He ate a spoon of the eggs. He drank half the broth. He ate some applesauce. It took an hour. I sat with him the whole time. I spoon-fed what he would take. I did not rush. Neither of us spoke much. At the end he said "thank you." I kissed his forehead. I cleaned up. I sat on the couch. I cried a little. Then I did not. The routine continued.

That Saturday breakfast took an hour, and I would give a hundred more hours just like it. A spoon of eggs, a sip of broth, a little applesauce — what Sean could take, I gave him slowly. In the evenings, when the house quieted and my mother and Grace had gone home, I found myself wanting something warm and sweet to make ahead for the next day — something that required no chewing, no effort on his part, just a small spoon and a moment of peace between us. This rice pudding became that thing. It’s soft all the way through, lightly sweet, and the caramel cream melts on contact — exactly the kind of food you can offer someone you love when eating is no longer easy, but still matters.

Prep Time: 10 min | Cook Time: 40 min | Total Time: 50 min | Servings: 6

Ingredients

1 cup short-grain white rice (such as Arborio)
4 cups whole milk
1 cup water
1/3 cup packed dark brown sugar
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon fine salt
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
For the caramel cream:
1/2 cup heavy cream
3 tablespoons caramel sauce (store-bought or homemade)
1 pinch flaky sea salt (optional)

Instructions

Combine base ingredients. In a medium heavy-bottomed saucepan, combine the rice, milk, water, brown sugar, salt, and cinnamon. Stir to combine and bring to a gentle simmer over medium heat, stirring frequently to prevent sticking.
Cook low and slow. Once simmering, reduce heat to low and cook uncovered for 35—40 minutes, stirring every few minutes, until the rice is completely tender and the mixture has thickened to a creamy, spoonable consistency. It will continue to thicken as it cools.
Finish the pudding. Remove from heat. Stir in the butter and vanilla extract until fully melted and incorporated. Taste and adjust sweetness if needed.
Make the caramel cream. In a small bowl or measuring cup, whisk together the heavy cream and caramel sauce until smooth and slightly thickened. It should be pourable but rich.
Serve warm or chilled. Spoon the pudding into small bowls or cups. Drizzle generously with caramel cream. Finish with a pinch of flaky sea salt if desired. Serve warm, at room temperature, or refrigerate and serve cold — it is gentle and good at any temperature.

Nutrition (per serving)

Sticky Toffee Rice Pudding with Caramel Cream — The Slow Spoon