Gluten Free Pancakes

The babies came. Wren and Felix, born November 18th at 4:47 AM and 4:49 AM, thirty-seven weeks, both healthy, both so small, both so entirely themselves in a way I did not expect — I thought they would be interchangeable in the first hours and they were not. They were already Wren and Felix. They had been Wren and Felix in my head all along and now they were Wren and Felix in the world and I held one in each arm in the hospital bed and felt the specific weight of both of them and could not stop looking at their faces.

Ryan. Ryan in the delivery room. I will not write all of it because some things are private. I will write this: he held my hand through everything and he said nothing I would not say back to him and when Wren came first he said her name and it was the first time anyone had said it out loud to her and she was one minute old and she heard it. Felix came two minutes later and Ryan said his name and looked at me and I looked at him and we were on the other side of it and the world had four more people in it than it had had the week before and two of them were ours.

Patty arrived at the hospital at 7:15 AM, which is the correct time for Patty to arrive at anything. She held both babies and cried. Steve stood in the doorway and looked at them for a long time and said: good. That is the Steve Kowalczyk meeting-his-grandchildren speech. It was enough. It was more than enough.

I have not cooked anything. We have been eating the freezer meals and the food that Patty and Steve and Kristin and Matt have been bringing, and all of it tastes like the whole village that showed up. The soup Ryan made me from scratch on day three at home is the thing I will remember most. It tasted like the person who made it. It tasted like all of this. It tasted like the beginning.

The soup Ryan made on day three is his — I’m not sharing it, and honestly I’m not sure I could recreate it because it tasted specifically like him making it at 6 AM while I was sitting on the couch with two sleeping babies on my chest. But the recipe that comes closest to the spirit of those first mornings at home is this one: gluten-free pancakes, made from scratch, the kind of thing you make for someone not because you have to but because you want to put something warm in front of them. That’s what day three felt like. That’s what all of it felt like — the village showing up, and Ryan in the kitchen, and the beginning of something we don’t have the right words for yet.

Prep Time: 10 minutes | Cook Time: 15 minutes | Total Time: 25 minutes | Servings: 4 (about 10 pancakes)

Ingredients

1 1/2 cups gluten-free all-purpose flour blend (with xanthan gum)
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon fine sea salt
1 tablespoon granulated sugar
1 1/4 cups buttermilk, room temperature
2 large eggs, room temperature
3 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted and slightly cooled (plus more for the pan)
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

Instructions

Mix the dry ingredients. In a large bowl, whisk together the gluten-free flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and sugar until evenly combined.
Mix the wet ingredients. In a separate medium bowl or large measuring cup, whisk together the buttermilk, eggs, melted butter, and vanilla extract.
Combine. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and stir gently until just combined. A few small lumps are fine — do not overmix. Let the batter rest for 5 minutes so the flour can hydrate and the baking powder can activate.
Heat the pan. Warm a large nonstick skillet or griddle over medium heat. Add a small pat of butter and swirl to coat. The pan is ready when a drop of water skitters across the surface.
Cook the pancakes. Pour about 1/4 cup of batter per pancake onto the griddle. Cook until bubbles form across the surface and the edges look set, about 2 to 3 minutes. Flip and cook the second side until golden brown, 1 to 2 minutes more. Repeat with remaining batter, adding butter to the pan as needed.
Serve. Serve warm, stacked, with maple syrup, fresh fruit, or whatever the morning calls for.

Nutrition (per serving)

Gluten Free Pancakes — The Morning Ryan Made Something From Scratch