Fruit Trifle — Layers of Joy for a New Chapter

Late March. Brian and Lisa's wedding is in two weeks. The approach of the wedding is producing a feeling I did not expect: happiness. Not complicated happiness, not performative happiness, not the happiness I would show a therapist to prove I am healthy. Real happiness. The genuine, uncomplicated pleasure of knowing that a man who was once miserable (with me) is now happy (with someone else), and the someone else is good to my daughter, and the happiness and the goodness are all that matters, and the mattering is the maturity, and the maturity took four years to grow, like a miso that ferments in the dark and emerges richer than it went in.

I made Fumiko's sekihan — red bean rice — the celebration rice, because something is worth celebrating: the evolution of a marriage into a divorce into a co-parenting relationship into a friendship into the genuine ability to be happy for an ex-husband's wedding. The evolution is the celebration. The red beans are the joy.

Miya is excited about the wedding. She will be in it — a junior bridesmaid, Lisa's idea, generous and correct. Miya has a dress (lavender) and shoes (white) and a role (carry flowers, stand still, smile). The standing-still will be the hardest part. Miya does not stand still. Miya stands still the way the ocean stands still: theoretically, briefly, with constant underlying motion.

I bought a dress for the wedding — a thing I have not done in years, the buying-of-a-dress-for-an-occasion, the specific act of a woman who is going to a social event as herself, not as Brian's wife, not as anyone's partner, but as Miya's mother and Brian's ex-wife and the woman who wrote the miso soup book and who teaches cooking classes and who makes dashi every morning and who is, at thirty-nine, entirely herself, wearing a new dress to her ex-husband's wedding, and the self is enough, and the dress is nice, and the nice is not a performance but an observation: I look nice. That is enough. I am enough. The dress is just a dress.

I made the sekihan as my private ritual, but when Miya asked what we could bring to the pre-wedding dinner at Lisa’s parents’ house, I wanted something bright and generous — something that looked the way the occasion felt. A fruit trifle is celebration in a bowl: layers of cream and cake and fruit, each one distinct, each one better for being pressed up against the others. It felt right. It felt like us — all the separate layers of this family we have become, holding together, surprisingly beautiful.

Fruit Trifle

Prep Time: 25 minutes | Cook Time: 0 minutes | Total Time: 25 minutes (plus 1 hour chilling) | Servings: 10

Ingredients

• 1 prepared pound cake or angel food cake (about 12 oz), cut into 1-inch cubes
• 2 cups heavy whipping cream
• 3 tablespoons powdered sugar
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 package (3.4 oz) instant vanilla pudding mix
• 2 cups whole milk
• 1 cup fresh strawberries, hulled and sliced
• 1 cup fresh blueberries
• 1 cup fresh raspberries
• 2 kiwis, peeled and sliced
• 1 cup canned mandarin orange segments, drained
• 2 tablespoons seedless raspberry jam, warmed (optional, for brushing cake)

Instructions

1. Make the pudding. Whisk together the instant vanilla pudding mix and 2 cups of cold whole milk in a medium bowl for about 2 minutes until thickened. Refrigerate for 5 minutes to set.
2. Whip the cream. In a large chilled bowl, beat the heavy whipping cream with powdered sugar and vanilla extract until soft, billowy peaks form. Set aside.
3. Prepare the fruit. Wash and slice all fruit. If desired, brush cake cubes lightly with warmed raspberry jam to add a layer of flavor and help the layers hold together.
4. Build the first layer. Arrange half the cake cubes in an even layer at the bottom of a large trifle bowl or glass serving bowl (at least 3-quart capacity).
5. Add pudding and fruit. Spoon half the prepared pudding evenly over the cake layer. Scatter half the mixed fruit over the pudding.
6. Add whipped cream. Dollop and spread half the whipped cream over the fruit layer.
7. Repeat the layers. Add the remaining cake cubes, followed by the remaining pudding, then the remaining fruit. Finish with a generous layer of whipped cream on top.
8. Garnish and chill. Arrange a few reserved strawberries, blueberries, and kiwi slices decoratively on top. Cover and refrigerate for at least 1 hour before serving to allow the layers to meld.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 310 | Protein: 4g | Fat: 18g | Carbs: 34g | Fiber: 2g | Sodium: 210mg