Frosted Carrot Bars

Easter Sunday. The seventh without Mama. But also the seventh WITH Mama, because Brenda Jackson does not leave a kitchen just because she leaves a body. She is in the cast iron skillet. She is in the Folgers can. She is in the cornbread that Zoe made this morning without a recipe, without measuring, just hands and memory and the inheritance that passes through kitchens, not courtrooms.

Church was beautiful. New Birth was packed. I sang in the choir — soprano still, though my voice has started to deepen in ways that make me think forty-two is the year my body starts sending memos about the future. We sang "Christ the Lord Is Risen Today" and I thought about Mama singing it, her voice big and certain, her church hat at a precise angle, her Bible open on her lap even though she knew every word by heart. I miss her hat. I miss her certainty.

Dinner at the College Park townhouse. I made the ham — scored diamond pattern, cloves, brown sugar and mustard glaze. Exactly Mama's way. Zoe made cornbread. Curtis was wheeled to the head of the table because Curtis Jackson sits at the head even if the table has to be rearranged for a wheelchair. Derek carved. We set a plate for Mama — the empty chair, the full plate that nobody touches and everybody sees.

Marcus called from Morehouse. Jasmine called from Howard. Isaiah called from Charlotte. Three FaceTime windows propped on the counter while we ate, three faces in three different kitchens, all of them eating something they'd made. Marcus had attempted fried chicken (enthusiastic). Jasmine made cornbread for her suitemates. Isaiah made collard greens (too much vinegar but I didn't say so). Six kitchens. One line.

Then the anniversary. April 16th. A Tuesday this year. I fried chicken after work. Just me. The Folgers can. The flour. The oil. The waiting. The sizzle. The golden crust. The tears — seven years of tears, not like a flood anymore but like a creek, steady, persistent, part of the landscape. Curtis wheeled himself to the kitchen. I put a plate in front of him. He ate one piece and said, "She's still here." He wasn't talking about the chicken. He was talking about everything.

After the ham and the cornbread and the three FaceTime windows propped on the counter, after Curtis said what he said and I cried what I cried, the table still needed something sweet — because Mama always said a holiday wasn’t finished until somebody brought out cream cheese frosting. These frosted carrot bars are exactly the kind of thing she would have made: unpretentious, generous, a little old-fashioned in the way that only ever means good. I cut them into squares and set them out, and we ate them quietly, the way you eat something that tastes like being taken care of.

Prep Time: 20 min | Cook Time: 25 min | Total Time: 45 min | Servings: 24 bars

Ingredients

2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
3/4 cup vegetable oil
4 large eggs
1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
2 cups finely shredded carrots (about 3 medium carrots)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
For the frosting: 8 oz cream cheese, softened
1/4 cup unsalted butter, softened
2 cups powdered sugar, sifted
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Pinch of salt

Instructions

Preheat and prepare. Heat oven to 350°F. Grease a 9x13-inch baking pan and line with parchment paper, leaving an overhang on two sides for easy lifting.
Mix dry ingredients. In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, and nutmeg until evenly combined.
Mix wet ingredients. In a large bowl, whisk together the oil, eggs, and granulated sugar until smooth and slightly thickened, about 1 minute.
Add carrots and vanilla. Stir the shredded carrots and vanilla extract into the wet mixture until incorporated.
Combine. Add the flour mixture to the wet mixture and fold gently with a spatula until just combined. Do not overmix.
Bake. Pour batter into the prepared pan and spread evenly. Bake for 22–25 minutes, until the top is set, the edges are golden, and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.
Cool completely. Transfer the pan to a wire rack and cool fully before frosting — at least 45 minutes. Do not rush this step or the frosting will melt.
Make the frosting. Beat the cream cheese and butter together on medium-high speed until completely smooth and fluffy, about 2 minutes. Add the powdered sugar, vanilla, and pinch of salt; beat on low until incorporated, then on medium-high for 1 minute until light.
Frost and cut. Spread the frosting evenly over the cooled bars. Lift out of the pan using the parchment overhang, place on a cutting board, and cut into 24 squares. Refrigerate leftovers in an airtight container for up to 4 days.

Nutrition (per serving)

Frosted Carrot Bars — Sweet Easter Grace, the Seventh Year