Apple Tea -- Warming the Quiet Morning Hours I Finally Have to Myself

New Year's 2039. Twenty-two years sober. Fifty-eight years old, the last year I will be fifty-eight — I turn fifty-nine in six weeks. When I was drinking I occasionally tried to imagine what my life would look like at fifty-nine and I couldn't do it. Not because the math was hard but because I didn't actually believe I'd get here. That belief has changed so completely over twenty-two years that I sometimes forget it was ever different. Then I remember, and the contrast is staggering, and I'm grateful in that specific deep way that doesn't have a word for it but that I feel in my chest every January first when I sit at the kitchen table at four in the morning and count the years.

Twenty-two years. My father has thirty-nine. My father is a fact of stability and endurance in my life, and I hold onto that fact with both hands. He called at midnight, same as every year. He said: veintidós. I said: veintidós, Papá. He sounded strong. He sounded warm and close in the way he sounds on his best nights. He said he and Mamá had made tamales earlier in the day — just the two of them, which he said took twice as long as when the whole family makes them but tasted the same. I said: I'll be there this spring. I'll help with the tamales. He said: I'll make sure we have the masa ready.

This year: no coaching. No schedule, no season, no film room at eleven o'clock. What I have instead: mornings. Real, unencumbered mornings, with nowhere to be except where I choose to be. I haven't fully figured out what to do with them yet. I'm working on it. That's the right pace for this. You don't figure out what freedom is for in a single day. You live in it and let it take shape.

Those four-in-the-morning hours at the kitchen table — the ones I’ve been quietly reclaiming — needed something in my hands. Not coffee this time, something gentler, something that felt like the pace I’m trying to learn. When I thought about my father and Mamá making tamales just the two of them, taking twice as long but savoring every minute of it, I understood: the slow thing is often the right thing. This apple tea is that for me right now — warm, unhurried, and entirely mine to drink at whatever hour I choose.

Apple Tea

Prep Time: 5 minutes | Cook Time: 15 minutes | Total Time: 20 minutes | Servings: 2

Ingredients

• 2 cups fresh apple juice or apple cider
• 1 cup water
• 2 black tea bags
• 1 cinnamon stick
• 3 whole cloves
• 2 thin slices fresh ginger
• 1 tablespoon honey, or to taste
• 1/2 teaspoon fresh lemon juice
• Apple slices and a cinnamon stick for garnish (optional)

Instructions

1. Simmer the spices. In a small saucepan over medium heat, combine the water, cinnamon stick, cloves, and ginger slices. Bring to a gentle simmer and cook for 5 minutes to let the spices bloom.
2. Add the apple juice. Pour in the apple juice or cider and raise the heat slightly. Heat until the mixture just reaches a low simmer — do not boil.
3. Steep the tea. Remove the saucepan from heat. Add the tea bags and steep for 4–5 minutes, depending on how strong you like your tea. Remove the tea bags without squeezing them.
4. Sweeten and finish. Stir in the honey and lemon juice. Taste and adjust sweetness as needed.
5. Strain and serve. Pour through a fine mesh strainer into two mugs, discarding the whole spices. Garnish with a fresh apple slice and a cinnamon stick if desired. Serve immediately.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 110 | Protein: 0g | Fat: 0g | Carbs: 28g | Fiber: 0g | Sodium: 10mg