I am engaged. I have been saying that to myself periodically this week, out loud, in my apartment alone, just to make it real in my mouth: I am engaged. It is a strange and wonderful thing to say. The ring is on my hand and I keep looking at it the way you look at something new that is already permanent.
We told the Clarkes together on Sunday. Debbie cried within fifteen seconds of seeing the ring, which set Tyler's brothers off on a round of noise that lasted several minutes. Roy shook Tyler's hand and then mine in a way that was not a handshake but something more like a transfer of seriousness, a thing men do when the serious moment has arrived. Debbie hugged me for a long time and then held my face in her hands and said: you are mine now, sweetheart. I said: I know. She said: I have known for a long time. I said: me too.
We told Gloria and James on Saturday. James said nothing for a moment and then he said: good. In the James Martin voice that means everything. Gloria looked at Tyler and said: you will take care of her. It was not a question. He said: yes ma'am. She said: I know you will. She looked at me and did not say anything with words. What she said with her eyes was: I see this. I am here for it. I said it back without words.
I made a celebration dinner Saturday: roasted lamb chops with rosemary and garlic, roasted root vegetables, a lemon tart for dessert. The occasion deserved something I had never made for a Sunday dinner before. Lamb felt right.
The lemon tart I had planned for that Saturday dinner was always meant to be the punctuation mark — something bright and intentional at the end of a meal that deserved a proper close — and this apple butter bread pudding carries that same spirit for me now: warm, unhurried, made with care because the night demanded it. When you have just told the people you love most in the world that your life is changing in the best possible way, you want dessert that feels like it means something. This is that dessert.
Apple Butter Bread Pudding
Prep Time: 20 minutes | Cook Time: 50 minutes | Total Time: 1 hour 10 minutes | Servings: 8
Ingredients
- 1 loaf (about 14 oz) day-old brioche or French bread, cut into 1-inch cubes
- 1 cup apple butter
- 3 cups whole milk
- 4 large eggs
- 1/2 cup granulated sugar
- 1/4 cup packed light brown sugar
- 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
- 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
- 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
- 1/4 teaspoon fine salt
- 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into small pieces, plus more for greasing
- Powdered sugar or whipped cream, for serving (optional)
Instructions
- Prepare the pan. Preheat your oven to 350°F. Butter a 9x13-inch baking dish generously and set aside.
- Cube and toast the bread. Spread the bread cubes in a single layer on a baking sheet and bake for 8–10 minutes until lightly dried out and just beginning to turn golden at the edges. This helps the pudding hold its structure. Remove and let cool slightly.
- Make the custard. In a large bowl, whisk together the eggs, granulated sugar, and brown sugar until smooth. Add the milk, apple butter, vanilla, cinnamon, nutmeg, and salt. Whisk until the apple butter is fully incorporated and the mixture is uniform.
- Combine. Add the toasted bread cubes to the custard and gently fold to coat every piece. Let the mixture rest for 15 minutes, pressing the bread down occasionally, so the custard fully soaks in.
- Bake. Pour the soaked bread mixture into the prepared baking dish and spread evenly. Dot the top with the small pieces of butter. Bake uncovered for 45–50 minutes, until the top is deep golden brown and the center is just set with a slight wobble.
- Rest and serve. Let the pudding rest for at least 10 minutes before slicing. Dust with powdered sugar or serve with a dollop of whipped cream if desired.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 390 | Protein: 10g | Fat: 11g | Carbs: 63g | Fiber: 2g | Sodium: 310mg